(Aging Untold) — More than 60 million Americans provide care for a family member. Most are women, and over half are 50 or older. Because caregiving is so demanding, many skip checkups, lose sleep, and endure chronic stress — putting their physical and mental health at serious risk.

According to gerontologist Sam Craddock, 40% of the U.S. workforce is also working as a caregiver, going home after a full workday to provide care for a family member.

Caregivers are ‘completely uncharted’

Craddock said the medical system tracks patients but largely ignores the people caring for them.

“In the medical world, we keep charts and we keep track of everything. The one thing we don’t chart is our caregivers. They’re completely uncharted,” Craddock said. “They’re the largest unpaid, unsupported, untrained workforce in this country, and we’re not giving them what they need.”

Craddock said if the health care system wants to truly care for patients, it must also care for the people supporting them.

“If we don’t, the decline is in the caregiver quicker than the person they’re taking care of — because they do such a great job. So now the caregiver is going to be the patient,” Craddock said.

Learning to say yes — and no

Aging expert Amy O’Rourke said self-recognition is the first step for caregivers who are struggling, and that accepting help can feel unnatural at first.

“When I need help the most, I say no,” O’Rourke said. “I would say to a caregiver that’s out there — if you’re grappling with whether you need help or not, practice saying yes.”

O’Rourke said accepting small offers of help — such as someone mowing the lawn or taking out the trash — can build a habit of accepting support.

She also said caregivers need to feel empowered to set limits when asked to take on more.

“It’s okay to say no, especially when somebody is asking you to do more. As a caregiver, you’re already strapped,” O’Rourke said.

O’Rourke added that family members and siblings should recognize how much pressure primary caregivers are under, rather than second-guessing their decisions.

Caregiver burnout is a health risk

Craddock said the physical toll of caregiving — even for those who are not hands-on but are managing logistics, medications, and phone calls — can be severe.

“This can lead to heart attack. This can lead to a lot of problems,” Craddock said. “Preventing caregiver burnout is preventative health, and we really need to look out for each other.”

O’Rourke said caregivers should not continue out of a sense of duty, shame, or guilt, and encouraged those whose family members are ready to help transition a loved one to a higher level of care to accept that support — for their own health and wellbeing.

Respite care and available resources

Craddock said respite care — a service that gives primary caregivers a temporary break — is available through nonprofits and some government programs.

“Respite is giving the primary caregiver a break,” Craddock said. “You can go do something — get away, go to a class, go take a nap, go to your grandson’s graduation.”

Craddock recommended that caregivers contact their local Department of Aging and Support Services to find out what programs are available in their area. He also suggested seeking out online support systems and educational resources.

“The more you know and the more you understand, the less frustrated you are and the less anxiety you’re going to have,” Craddock said.

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